Guest Blogger: Maegan from Chesterrific

I am SO happy that Maegan is guest posting over here today! She is one of my closest bloggy friends, and I can't wait to see her in Chicago in a week! WOOT! She is super stylish, has a really awesome blog, and is just a great person all around.  Her little guy, Chester, is so cute and I hope him and Brayden become friends on our play date.

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I'm so happy to be guesting on Julie's blog today!  She is one of my favorite everyday reads, I just love her, and guess what?!  I get to meet her next week!  We're headed to Chicago for vacation and if we can get all our ducks in a row we'll be having a playdate a week from today.  When Julie asked if I would like to guest for her I was more than happy to accept ... but then I couldn't think of anything to write about.  Total bloggers block for weeks.

And then it came to me, when I was asked for the 3,819th time, "Your son is getting to be the right age to be a big brother, when is baby # 2 going to happen?" "Well, family member, like I told you the last time you asked me this, we're 'One & Done'".

That's us ... our family unit of 3 is complete.  To my surprise, this actually surprises the majority of people I tell.  I'm always asked, as any new mom is, when is baby #2 going to be here?  Seriously, I was actually asked that question during my sons first week of life!

During pregnancy the unsolicited advice seems free flowing from friends, family, strangers; and post pregnancy those friends, family, strangers start in with "when when when is the next?"  Tell me I'm not the only one who gets this question all the time?

When asked I just smile, give a loving glance at my boy, and reply, "We're one and done!"  And the conversation then goes something like this:

"WHAT?  No, that's not possible."

"Yep, we're complete and happy."

"But he needs a brother or sister, he can't be an only child.  Only children are {lonely} {spoiled} {ill-adjusted} {missing out on childhood, forced to grow up too fast} {insert objectional comment here} ......

"Well, I'm an only child.  I think I turned out okay."

"Oh, yeah, um ..."

... and end conversation.  


Seems like friends / family seem to forget I'm an only child, and strangers just never know what to say next.  And honestly, being an only child, I loved it.  My parents and I are very close, I never wanted a brother or sister.  I'm happy that my husband has 2 sisters, they are awesome and I love calling them my sisters now, but my childhood was magical, I wasn't forced to grow up too fast, I was never lonely, I don't think I'm ill-adjusted (to life, love, parenting, relationships, not sure what exactly they're implying here) ... but I will admit that sometimes I was a little spoiled.

And because my son is going to be an only child he's going to be a little spoiled too.  But guess what, if I had 2 kids or 12 kids, each one of them would be a little bit spoiled ... because they're babies and children and teenagers and they're figuring out how to grow up and it's not easy, and because every single child should in fact be spoiled.  A child is a gift from God, a blessing, the most amazing little person in the whole world, and they deserve to be a little spoiled. 

Anyway, I got off topic, started a rant about loving on your children too much (is that possible?!), when I mean to be talking about "why" we are one and done.

When the hubs and I were dating and started talking seriously about our future and marriage and kids, we both said we wanted only one.  Easy peasy there.  And like I said, he has 2 sisters, and they get along fantastically, so his personal family dynamics didn't play a role in that decision.  I asked him why he wanted one and he said he just never envisioned his life with more than one.  Freaky, because that's exactly the same about me!  I don't know if it's because I am an only, but I never saw my future as a mom of more than one ... biological child.

Threw you for a loop?

Yep, we're one and done when it comes to us procreating.  But if God places the desire in our hearts to have more children, then we'll adopt.  My mom says she feels a presence of an adopted baby in our future.  So that's pretty exciting!  But if you ask me today, I don't see that on our horizon, I'm just not there yet.

I wish I could sum it up with an easy sentence about "why" we are done and calling our little family complete, but there's really not an easy answer.  So to address all the assumptions that I get from friends / family / strangers ... It's not about money (we're fine thank you), it's not about wanting a boy and being unhappy if its a girl, or vice versa (we would love any gender child we were blessed with), it's not about not having enough love in our hearts for another baby (seriously, lame), it's not about us being selfish and self-centered adults who don't want to give our lives up to raise children (um, just look at our boy who is the light and the center of our lives, we have happily given up so much for him, and will do so for as long as we live) ...

It's honestly just about us, as husband and wife and son; Daddy & mommy & baby, feeling so completely blessed and filfulled as a little family of 3, that we are content.  We couldn't ask for anything more ... except maybe another baby when the time is right for us to adopt. :)